Ethiopia

HAWASA

Thus far, Evan and my time in Ethiopia feels like swinging on a pendulum from
extreme wealth to extreme poverty and back again. We’re driving
through impoverished villages and desolate landscapes in a Toyota Land
Cruiser, which I believe cost more than my college education. We’re
staying in tidy hotels that neighbor urban slums. We’re feasting in restaurants outside of street children beg for food. This constant undulation (from wealth to poverty and
back again) has an effect similar to going from North Dakota to
Ecuador, back to North Dakota and back to the equator. The physical
body goes into relative shock and becomes slightly ill before finding
equilibrium (equilibrium, might I add, is not guaranteed and I am
still searching for mine).

Currently we are in Hawassa where I
feel very much like a princess protected from reality high up in her
tower. When said princess decides that said tower
is starting to feel like prison, she heads down to Hawassa’s main
street for some third world urban site seeing. There she is bombarded
by homeless peoples’ coo for “one birr” (equivalent to about $.08),
broken English catcalls and an ocean of harmless but lingering eyes
into which she attempts to look with loving compassion, “We are all
one…We are all one…We are all one, Namaste”. After some 2 hours said
princess is exhausted by black clouds of toxic diesel fumes, the site of emaciated
nursing beggars and weight of the unconscious barrier
she has now erected around her heart regardless of any loving mantras.

And so said princess retreats once again out of poverty’s sight, into said
tower until said tower begins to feel like a prison at which time she
descends upon Hawassa’s main street for some (more) urban third world
site seeing…. (It goes on like this for 48 hours.)

Clearly I am deeply grateful for my tower even though I am still making peace with the feeling that I am a spoiled clean-sheet-loving American who somehow (through dumb luck or good
karma or stellar celestial alignment) won the metaphorical lottery.

BIT 'O HISTORY

Every country in Africa has been, if not officially colonized at some
point, altered by Europe’s long reach. For some reason this used to
really piss me off. Why can’t the West just keep to its own business?
Why does the West insist on tasting everybody else’s honey? Or sugar
or oil or timber? Turns out in the late 1800’s Ethiopia was the first
African nation to defeat a European power. “Hip, hip, hurray”, I
silently cheered upon learning this fact throwing up a fist-pump for
the people of Ethiopia. And then I learned about the “Red Terror”, a
bloody era when Ethiopia’s own military government over threw the
Ethiopian king, killed all his ministers and then proceeded, in the likes of
Nazi Germany, to murder over 500,000 innocent Ethiopian civilians. Let me clarify, they didn't just murder 'innocent' people, they specifically murdered the best and brightest, the intellectuals and innovators. They wiped out anyone whose intelligence or inner power might threaten the military's standing. Whoa. Ethiopians killing Ethiopians on purpose without cause? Maybe
being under Italy’s control wouldn’t have been such a bad idea after
all. At least then they could have blamed someone else for their
current state. (I don’t sound much like a yoga teacher any more. Honestly, I don't even know what "yoga teacher" means anymore. This is only one of the many aspects of my former reality that hardly seem 'real' anymore. “We are all one…We are all one…We are all one,
Namaste.”)

Anyway, power has pretty much been a game of hot-potato for last 100
years in Ethiopia. This constant changing of the guard, in combination with
severe droughts, high inflation, the recent tragedy of the “Red Terror”
and a lack of education and medical resources, leave millions of rural
and urban Ethiopians out to dry in the unforgiving African sun.

But you guys probably know all this. I’m just sort of having my 31 year old
mind shattered as the reality of Ethiopia’s “situation” bulldozes the
china cabinet of my naiveté. This destruction of my previous model of
reality, by the way, is excruciatingly uncomfortable. Necessary, I
know, but uncomfortable as hell. Basically the tidy box I had
designated as “Real” is now but a pile of wood chips and bent nails.
And here, amidst this rubble, is where I stand. “Okey dokey,” I look
around with my hand on my hips. “So where shall I go from here? “

Love Yoga's Philosophy on "Teaching" Yoga

Authentically teaching Yoga has it’s roots in living Yoga. Kristina and I designed the YogaLife program with this philosophy at the heart of the matter. The entire program is designed to assist each student’s better understanding of and application of Yoga - yoga philosophy, yoga psychology, yogic science, yoga practices of breath and movement - in his and her day to day life.

If one is to teach patience, it’s best to practice ‘being’ patient. For many of us ‘patience’ must practiced day in and day out. For many of us this means cultivating moment to moment awareness of our behaviors, actions, reactions, thoughts and words. Over time the practice of 'patience' yield great reward: we are less reactive, calmer, more compassionate, better listeners, etc. And, additionally, through the very act of being patient we will teach others patience.

Yoga is similar in this way. Yoga is learned actively through the daily application of ethics, cleansing practices (for mind-body), devotion, Self reflection, and meditation. It is not learned through passive reading or purely intellectual study. Yoga is not learned by mindlessly following someone else’s choreography (though we may be introduced to a surface layer of the practice through this experience). And Yoga, in its wholeness, can not be taught if it is not being lived.

How do we “live” Yoga?

WITNESS THE SELF
Firstly, we must stop pushing and shoving our way through the crowd claiming to be ‘patient’. We must slow down and examine (with a magnifying glass and the Truth) our current behavior. We must be willing to see ‘whatever’ is. For many of us when we arrive on the scene of our own behavior we’re shocked at just how hurtful, life-depleting, self-lacerating, out of control, judgmental, unconscious, unkind and impatient our behavior is.

At first consciously witnessing the self can be a bit like watching the same train wreck, over and over and over again. It is good to have a very loving teacher in these early stages. Someone who can remind you just how miraculous you are even when you eat the whole pan of brownies, binge drink, get stoned, wake up next to Mr. What’s Your Name Again?, yell at your mother, buy things you can’t afford on credit, etc. I kid, sort of, but you get my point.

My initial 'conscious witnessing' (waking up) period involved the end of my engagement, the healing of a 10 year struggle with bulimia, the direct confrontation with a pattern of habitual lying, the painful realization that I was utterly mean to my self and unable to esteem myself, and so much more not-fun-stuff. The Lauran Janes train wreck, really.

Kristina was one of my first teachers during these early stages of awakening. In her words: "The inner Witness is the Source of Love itself. And this Love is more powerful than any negative outward behavior and therefore, is the greatest protection for humanity. The practices of Yoga soften the roughest edges of the world and brings you back to behaviors that stem from Love."

Though we may feel very far from Love when we first begin to witness ourselves, don't be fooled. For interwoven in the very act of witnessing the self is the Source of Love.


ASANA
In addition to WITNESSING THE SELF, the art of ASANA as a daily practice is an integral part of living Yoga. Asana is a practice of ‘cleaning out’, ‘undoing’, ‘pushing the re-set button’, ‘getting back to Love’, ‘finding the happy place’, ‘calming the mind’, ‘tapping the unconscious’, ‘unsticking’, ‘gaining strength’, ‘increasing confidence’, ‘becoming excited about the body-mind’, ‘practicing non-violent actions’, ‘witnessing thoughts’, ‘expanding my boundaries’, ‘playing again’, ‘focusing on anything other than the chattering-list-making-machine of the mind’ and more.

Asana assists our movement out of the head and into the heart - physically and literally. We move our attention to something greater than the ‘jumping beans’ between our ears and we literally expand the tissues around the heart. We align the skeleton as a means of strengthening the scaffolding of the ‘playground’ of the body. This process opens brilliant channels of energy to flow from heart to mind, toes to hair, Love to all.

SCIENCE OF THE MIND
Additionally, to live Yoga it is extremely helpful to better understand the SCIENCE OF THE MIND. Just as we can learn how our digestive track works (and feel the body’s varied reactions to what we consume) we can also understand how the mind ‘digests’ the constant inward following current of information. In our YOGALife program we study how the mind receives information, creates perceptions, sensations, and feelings. We study how the mind reacts to these feelings and how these reactions give birth to our underlying “story” of self. We study how our deep attachment to these stories hinders our sight. Experiencing life with hindered sight (through the veil of our mind's story - ego) is like driving with a foggy wind-shield. Though we can still drive, we are very likely to cause harm to ourselves and others.

More to Come...

The Cave Behind the Water fall

While exploring the interconnection between Neuroscience and Nirodha this image of the stillness of thought waves (the cave behind the waterfall) arose and came through as a poem...

Rest yourself Inside
behind the veil of thoughts

Sit in the glow of the Cave
behind the waterfall

Dry and calm

Watch the descending current without judgment
Without taking pride in the water
Without scolding the water
Without wishing there was no water

Move within

Not easy
Nor is childbirth
Nor any process of Becoming

Most are closer to water than the Cave
Cold & drenched, hand scratching head

That’s okay

From beneath the water read the Sign Post:
"Move within. Now. Love you, Your Divinity."

Trust the moments of warmth
the glimpses of Light
the echoes of Silence
the hints of the Heart

Step out of the water

Some days very hard
Some days easier
Some days dry and warm
Some days wet all day

That's okay

Pratice watching the ‘lonely’, the ‘hurt’,
the ‘fear’, the ‘jealousy’,
the ‘right’, the ‘wrong’,
the ‘good’, the ‘bad’,
the ‘she’, the ‘he’,
the ‘I’, the ‘me’...

Endless drops

Watch and breathe...without judgment

...or maybe there is judgment...

That's okay

Practice again

Keep practicing
moving inwards
recede completely
into the Fire of the Heart

The Great Surrender

Upon returning from an 8 day "Raise Your Vibration" yoga journey with Desiree Rumbough at Kirpalu, this poem whispered itself to me.


softly landing
in my own skin
again tender

after so much clinging
gripping the bit
controlling
but not controlling

my breath
lays me to rest
in the openness
of my own heart

nothing to fight here
not even my own self

a smooth baby-body
asleep in mommy's arms
in daddy's hands

today i am baby
i am mommy
i am daddy

i lull myself sweetly
towards the great surrender
that precedes freedom

The Mind is Like a Dixie Cup

A young Krishna is playing with his friends, eating dirt, as boys will do. His mother catches him and insists that he spit out the rocks. When he opens his mouth wide she peers in and catches a glimpse of the entire universe...with in him! Stars, suns, moons, boundless space. At the sight of The Everything with in him, Krishna's mother momentarily passes out. The mind is like a Dixie cup. It can’t hold that ocean.

This is story paints such a delightful image of a foundational aspect of "Yoga". "Yoga" is the state being where nothing's missing. The state of yoga is a cellular recognition that every planet, every star, the building blocks of every living thing exist within each of us. Intricate systems work together inside our being. Water, electricity, waves, and powerful vibrations animate our every moment, our alive-ness. Nothing’s missing.

Of course, we will forget the grandeur, the twinkling of the stars inside, the multitudes of universes inside us. Part of the human experience is forgetting the miracle of The Everything of which we are composed.

That is why I practice yoga daily. The practice helps me move beyond the waxed paper border of my mind into the greater space within. Whether it's asana, mediation, pranayama...the practices help me touch the space my mind can't reach. In this way it brings me into a direct experience with The Everything...if even for just a moment.

Preaching to the Choir

Whenever possible I climb to the top of the nearest mountain or speed bump to declare my ecstatic love for this practice called ‘yoga’. Yoga brought me back to my own Self - like a shepherd to her sheep. In the style of ‘Amazing Grace’, I was lost and then I was found.

When yoga found me I had long intellectually understood that I was composed of divine intelligence - the same divine intelligence that makes waves in the oceans, brings about spring after winter and designs animals of every color, shape and size. I understood with my head the miracle of my being, but that didn’t stop me from making very poor, selfish, fearful, hurtful, self-defeating decisions over and over and over again. My understanding of my own Grace-nature had not integrated into my cells, my heart, my breath or my every waking moment. Not even close. Bridging that understanding from my head to my heart occurred (and occurs daily) via my yoga practice on and off the mat. Yoga integrates what we know with our brains with the boundless life-force energy of the heart.

It is for this reason that I will share this practice with others for as long as I live. The practice is a direct extension cord to the Love in our hearts, the Love in every living vibration on the planet. Plus it just feels so dang good to play and breathe and squirm and find stillness again on the mat. So I teach yoga as a means of giving back the greatest gifts I have been given by this practice - health, consciousness, self-reflection, calmness, peace, vibrancy, and, oh yeah, Universal Love.

I am madly in love with the human race. Many of my friends can not fathom this possibility. And, let’s face it, as a race we are not always so lovable. We do things that hurt each other. We say things that sting like daggers. We are fallible, angry, violent, cruel and selfish. But, somehow, the practice of yoga gives one X-ray vision of sorts. With this vision we are able to see through the fallible ‘ways’ of man and woman, right into the root of the root of the heart of the matter that gave birth to the anger, violence, cruelty and selfishness. It’s a radical gift to see through the hurt to the heart. And that is the gift that keeps on giving in the practice of yoga. Sure, your hamstrings will elongate, your backpain will go away, your self-doubt will finally step to the back of the stage - but even cooler - you will learn to see love where previously it was hidden. It’s a crazy, beautiful, thrilling, exhausting, liberating thing. It’s like going to the best optometrist on the planet. Dr. yoga, yo.

So from the top of every mountain let yoga ring.

The Sky is Waiting

Lift Off

Come fly.

Leave your left brain.

Bring your heart,
your trust,
your quite eyes and ears.

Leave your fear,
your no's,
your cant's,
your wont's.

Bring your wonder.

Bring your laughter.

Bring the wings of your breath.

Come fly.

The sky is waiting...